Thursday, October 18, 2007


Greetings to my friends around the globe who take time to read this. I apologize for the gap in consistency lately, but if you’ll read back a few posts, you’ll see I’ve experienced some life changing events recently and finding a routine has been difficult. Not to make excuses however, you keep reading and sharing and I’ll keep writing.

With that said, depending on when you read this, I could very well be on a beach in the Caribbean. As the saying goes, “Wish you were here”. In just a few short days my wife and I celebrate 20 years of marriage with an additional 5 year courtship thrown in for good measure. As the applause dies down, I need to tell you that equals more than half my life I’ve shared with the same person. I can’t even begin to share all we’ve seen and done together; the joy, the sadness, the miraculous and the mundane, tears, laughter, children (life), funerals (death)…..the stuff of life. It’s been an incredible 25 years and I can honestly say that I love her more now.

But I’m not here to promote marriage, even though I’m an advocate; rather I’m here to sing the praise of having someone, anyone, to share your life with. It could be a friend, it could be a counselor, etc.; the point is that the human heart and soul wasn’t made to go through life alone. There is a built in need to share and process with others. In fact, scientific studies have shown that people who have strong, long lasting friendships are generally healthier and live longer than those who don’t - given other health related factors being equal., an emerging, video venue church with locations across the country and even around the world now (just launched locations in 2 foreign countries); proved this point in an astonishing way recently. As a way to get people connected and involved in a series about the secrets we all have, they invited folks to connect to a website and share anonymously the stuff nobody else knew about them. Amazingly, within the first two weeks they had over 5000 “confessions”; ranging from affairs and embezzlement, to bulimia and just plain doubt and fear. People need to share.

And it’s not just the stuff we’re ashamed of either. Its sunsets and walks, it’s how you feel at a given moment, it’s your hopes and dreams – that stuff has to be shared. I’d challenge you to try and prove me wrong by going 90 days without sharing a single thought with anyone, but I know where you’d end up - you’d be miserable. The life around you with all its wonder (the people, the scenery, etc.) would simply become a backdrop for your comings and goings. Your hopes and dreams would wither and become mocking reminders of failure while despondency would soon set in as you begin to believe that no one even wants to hear about how you feel. You see, sharing one’s life with others is part of living; the alternative slowly snuffs it out.

It’s why counseling actually helps people. The simple exercise of voicing the thoughts we carry within ourselves has an incredible way of enabling us to gain awareness and understanding of what motivates us, or why we’re feeling the way we are. Just the opportunity to express an emotion or feeling without judgment in return can be freeing.

I count myself very fortunate to celebrate such an anniversary with someone I’ve shared more than half my life with. I pray that you too have someone, anyone that you can share a moment or two with. And as always, I’d love to have you share with me.